


Through the Haze

by fishfingersandjellybabies



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-04 01:15:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6635044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishfingersandjellybabies/pseuds/fishfingersandjellybabies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knows what it’s like. The green. The voices. He was the only one who could deal with this. And deal with it he would, no matter what. Damian deserved that much.</p>
<p>(Companion to Anything It Takes & What It's Worth)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through the Haze

**Author's Note:**

> Within the same ‘verse as [Anything It Takes](http://fishfingersandjellybabies.tumblr.com/post/130173016402/anything-it-takes-fic) and [What It’s Worth](http://fishfingersandjellybabies.tumblr.com/post/132447722922/what-its-worth-fic), but could totally stand alone as a fic. Since it’s slowly becoming a tiny ‘verse, I’ll think of a name one day. Much closer to Anything as opposed to Worth, and Damian’s been resurrected for probably like, a year to a year and a half at this point. I kind of just got tired of editing it so. Here y’all go.

He found him in their bedroom. In their currently _trashed_ bedroom, and that definitely wasn’t the décor when he’d left earlier in the day.

Dick _had_ said it was bad this time.

The curtains were torn from their rods. Pillows torn apart, feathers still floating in the air. Slashes and dents were prominent in the paint on the walls, like they’d been punched or scratched. Pages were scattered, the nightstand was flipped, the chair in the corner overturned.

Damian himself was in the corner, at the dresser. Everything that had been sitting on it had been flung away, was scattered and shattered across the floor. Damian was panting, palms on the flat wooden surface, nails digging into the aged wood. There was blood on his knuckles, running down the curves of his fingers, and that answered the earlier question.

Gently, Jason closed the door behind him. More for the others’ sake than his or Damian’s. Despite Dick already corralling Tim to the opposite side of the house, there was always the chance one of them came back before Jason could fix it, and he knew how much these rages broke their hearts.

Because it wasn’t like Damian would ever hurt them, not like this. That’s why their bedroom was the victim.

Jason took a step forward, and glass crunched under his boot. So much for being quiet. He watched Damian’s shoulders tense, his fingers curl, but didn’t slow down. Didn’t keep his distance. Walked faster, if nothing else.

“Baby,” Jason whispered, in an attempt to gage where they were in the breakdown, since Dick hadn’t quite said, mostly because he didn’t know as he came upon the rampage mid-way. If it was still early, Damian wouldn’t react well. Would probably lash out and try to hit him. If it’d been a while, he might just crumble completely.

Damian did neither. Just curled in on himself. Bowed over the dresser, slowly wrapped his arms around his own head.

“Talk to me,” Jason said, stopping with just a few feet between them. Damian instantly shook his head, twisted his fingers into his own hair. “What are you seeing?”

“No.” Damian croaked. Whined, like a dog in pain. Suddenly began slamming his elbow into the dresser, over and over. “No, no, no…!”

Jason didn’t say anything, just reached out, grabbed the bouncing elbow and yanked it away. Spun Damian around and pulled him from the surface. Backed away until they were to a clean area of carpet, next to the bed, where Damian promptly collapsed in his grip. Fell to his knees, still breathing heavily as he tightened his muscles, balled his hands into fists.

“Let me go.” Damian growled, pulling, just slightly. “Let me go, right now, Todd, or I’ll-”

Jason followed the movement. Dropped to his own knees and released Damian’s arm. Gently took hold of Damian’s face instead, forced the younger to look up at him. “No.”

Damian snorted, like an animal, and pursed his lips. Chest still heaving as he took deep, fast, furious breaths. His eyes were shimmering. With tears, with madness, with the Pit. Light green now, just like Jason’s, and it broke his heart.

He didn’t regret it though.

“What do you see?” Jason asked again. Ran his thumbs tenderly across Damian’s cheekbones. “What do you hear?”

“V-voices.” Damian breathed, fluttering his eyes closed. His breathing turned from ferocious to frantic. Angry to scared. “Green. Pain. Souls, who’ve been hurt. And the _voices_ …!”

“Okay.” Jason soothed. Shifted his hands so the heels of his palms cupped Damian’s cheeks, and his fingers covered his ears. “Tune those out. Listen to me instead, okay? Focus on my voice, not those other ones.”

Damian’s lip quivered, and a tear dripped out from underneath his eyelids. “But they’re _screaming_.”

“I know. I know they are. Just tune them out.” Jason instructed as he scooted forward, slotted Damian between his knees. Leaned so close to his face, his lips brushed along the younger’s nose. “Tune them out and just listen to me.”

And he could tell Damian was trying. Trying to listen, trying to control himself, and not attack the one holding him. Jason glanced down, watched Damian tighten and release his fists, the veins in his arms popping, the blood on his knuckles seeping faster.

“You’re okay.” Jason murmured, returning his gaze to Damian’s eyelashes and the tear droplets clinging to them now. “You’re alright. You’re alive and with me and _safe_.”

Damian whimpered, “And I _shouldn’t be_.”

“Nonsense.” Jason smiled, pressed it into the bridge of Damian’s nose. “You deserve it way more than I do, and here I am too.”

“But I’ve killed, I’ve _murdered_.” Damian listed, tears falling faster, even as Jason felt those fists crawl up Jason’s thighs, cling to the slack of his pants. “I died because I made a mistake, so I sho-”

“Stop.” Jason ordered, only a hint of harshness in the otherwise soft tone. He raised his thumbs, wiped the tears away, then smoothed them over Damian’s eyebrows. “Just focus on me, Damian, and my voice. Nothing else.”

Damian sighed, and slumped in Jason’s grasp.

“You’re safe. You’re alive, and you _deserve_ to be so.” Jason explained, sneaking kisses against Damian’s flesh every few words. “Don’t think of the past. Don’t think of the green. Think of me.”

Damian’s fists twitched tighter against his legs.

“Think of me, and of Dickie.” He whispered, kissed a tear track, lingered to taste the salt. “Think of Tim, and everything we did to get you back. Think of _why_ we fought so hard to get you back.”

Damian’s eyes opened, slowly jerking up to stare into Jason’s.

“Think of how much we love you, and banish those voices away.” Jason instructed. “They’re wrong, okay? They’ve always been wrong, and they always _will be_ wrong.”

“W-wrong.” Damian echoed, and he was _trying so hard_. “They’re _wrong_ …”

“Mhm.” Jason hummed. “Don’t let them control you, beautiful, because they don’t, and they _never_ will.”

Damian inhaled, and watched as Jason kissed his forehead.

“Just listen to my voice and relax.” Jason murmured, even as Damian leaned his face into his throat. The anger and fury was gone, now, Jason knew that. Now just to deal with the pain left over. He kept one hand across Damian’s face, and his ear, as the younger situated his opposite cheek against his collarbone, and wrapped the other around his shoulders. “Let it pass, beautiful.”

“Does it?” Damian wheezed. “Or are they…are these rages always this bad?”

“They always pop up, but they get… _manageable_ , over time.” Jason admitted, though winced. It wasn’t… _exactly_ a lie. “But don’t worry about it, alright? Just focus on the here and now. Focus on me.”

Fingers flittered up to his waist, and settled carefully there, as a face was upturned into his jaw. “…How can I help you, Beloved?”

“Hm?”

“During your…when the Pit affects you, when the madness hits,” Damian almost sounded like he was begging. “What can I do, to help you through yours?”

Jason blinked, then grinned, curled tighter around the strong soul collapsed against him. Kissed his forehead again, and stayed there. “You already do, gorgeous.”

He felt Damian’s face contort. Like the younger didn’t understand.

“Just by existing. You and Dick and Tim.” He whispered. “You all keep me grounded. You all keep the nightmares at bay.”

“…Oh.” Damian sounded surprised. “Well. That’s…that’s easy, then.”

Jason chuckled, even as he felt Damian’s fingers twist in his shirt, in a bout of fear. Felt a new wave of tears cascade down Damian’s face. “Focus on my voice, Damian.” He repeated. “Focus on my voice only, and relax. Try to sleep, if you think you can.”

“Okay.” Damian croaked, leaning more of his weight into Jason’s chest. “…Todd?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you.” Damian cried.

“I know you do.” At that moment, Jason heard the click of the doorknob, glanced across the mattress to see the door slowly opening. “And I love you, too.”

He felt Damian gulp, as Tim’s head popped into the room, and Dick’s quiet voice sounded from behind him. “Todd?”

Tim’s eyes were immediately filled with sorrow at the state of the room, and the destruction caused. “Yeah, baby.”

He felt those fingers tighten in his shirt again, and even _more_ tears drip onto his collarbone, as the door opened wider and Dick appeared. He took in the room, but seemed more focused on finding them. “I’m so sorry.”

The second Dick spotted them, he was winding around the devastation towards them, Tim close on his heels. And it wasn’t what he felt, wasn’t what Dick or Tim or anyone felt. Because this wasn’t Damian’s _fault_ , and he had _nothing_ to apologize for. But still, he knew denying it wouldn’t help right now, might even send Damian back into the throws of the Pit madness, making those voices come back louder and stronger.

So as Dick sat on the edge of the mattress, and Tim came around to kneel next to them, gently taking up Damian’s bruised and bloody fingers, Jason shook his head, silently asking them not to talk, even as he muttered, “I know you are.”

Damian didn’t say anything. Just leaned further into Jason’s embrace. Even if he were still in the grasps of his breakdown, he knew that Dick and Tim were there now. Knew they were ready to comfort him, as Tim squeezed his fingers, and Dick ran a gentle hand across the back of his neck.

He knew they were there.

And Jason had to admit – that was a good sign, that he wasn’t trying to throw them off.  Get away from them, trying to beat them. And it might have been the exhaustion but, for once, Jason decided to be optimistic. Decided to hope. That maybe Damian would be better than he was. That Damian wasn’t being dragged down by the madness every second of every day. That the Pit didn’t have as deep a hold on his lover as it did – and still does – on him.

“We’re right here, baby.” Jason whispered into Damian’s face, even as Tim leaned in to wipe way Damian’s tears. “Let us take care of you.”

And for once. For the first time of what turned out to be many, Damian _did_.


End file.
